What Comes Next
by kdmom
Summary: Set immediately after the end of London Calling. Tommy's POV after watching Jude drive away in the limo and Jude's P.O.V. at the airport. Currently a two-shot, but it might become the beginning of a story
1. Learning To Let Go

**SO, I've never written any kind of story before, but I felt strangely inspired after becoming addicted to Instant Star. I'm not sure if this is a prologue to a longer story or just a one-shot (well actually a two-shot because I wrote on for Jude that I want to publish soon).**

**Hope you enjoy it! **

**DISCLAIMER: Of course I don't own anything related to Instant Star including the characters. If I had it would have ended very differently. (And I only wish I owned Tommy Q!)**

_**"We can agree on one thing. You cant fight fate with fate.  
We had a good love, but its seen its last day. **_

_**When opportunity knocked you had to answer the call. Now those  
clouds on that sunny day have all blown away. **_

_**So before you pack your things and go, theres one last  
thing that I want you to know.  
You can't find happiness if you wont let go.  
****Learning To Let Go by Corey Crowder**_

Tommy sat completely still in the silent front seat of his blue Viper, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his head bowed so that his forehead rested against the crest of the wheel. The only indications that he wasn't asleep were the white knuckles of his hands as they held on with a death grip and the occasional tear that slid down his cheek, landing with silent splats on the faded blue denim stretched across his thighs.

It had been well over an hour since he looked across the lawn filled with fans and reporters to met Jude's eyes with a faint smile of regret and encouragement. He had watched her turn and climb into the limo. His last glimpse of her was the wind blowing her hair back as she rode down the street with her head and shoulders sticking through the limo's sunroof. He had watched until the limo was out of sight, then silently slipped back into his car, locked the doors, and bowed his head as the painful memories flooded in.

The fans and reporters had slowly drifted off now that their superstar was gone, his star. He assumed Jaime had gone home, and Sadie back into the house, but he didn't really know, or care for that matter. Nothing really mattered right now, except that Jude was gone.

As he sat there, motionless, images of their life together began flashing across the back of his eyelids, tumbling over each other in a random pattern of joy and sorrow. Every high and low and in between, muddled together in a mocking display that felt only like loss to Tommy. He was briefly reminded of Angie's death and struggled to remind himself that Jude was not dead and that this was not the same. But the grief felt the same, maybe because his love for Jude was that much stronger.

It was all there, all the firsts and lasts, the life changing events and the day to day. Their first meeting at G-Major, when he told her never to call him Lil Tommy Q again, the first time they worked on a song together, rewriting 24 Hours out on the docks. Seeing her on stage at the Vinyl Palace and knowing, as soon as she sang the first note, that she was the real deal, even better. Kissing her for the first time the night of her 16th birthday. Waking up with her in his arms for the first time, the night of her 17th and wishing like hell that Jamie and Speiderman weren't standing there when he did. And, of course, finally making love to her at the rehearsal space after waiting so long, and knowing that she had waited all those years for him and only him.

The bad memories were there too. Making her swear that their first kiss never happened. The jail in New Brunswick, the hotel room after Jude's 18th birthday party, telling her she was poison and to stay as far away from him as she could. But the last, most painful memory of all, the one that made him feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, was the way her voice cracked as she tearfully thanked him for holding her hand and then for letting her go.

The problem was, he didn't know how to let her go. He couldn't. That's why he was still sitting here in her driveway after everyone else was gone. He knew the minute he started his engine and put the car into reverse, it would be real. This would all be real. She would be gone and life would start to move on and the motion of it all would carry her farther and farther away from him. Maybe so far she would never come back. So he sat there, motionless, praying for this to all be a bad dream.

He hated this! He hated that Jude had left and how Jude had left and every possible thing about why Jude had left. Or more importantly, why she had left him behind. He hated it. It made feel sick, and yet somehow, he understood it. Worse yet, he knew she was right. That's why he had shown up today, to let her know he understood. Deep down, under all the pain and sadness, Tommy knew she had done the right thing. Hell, he admired her for it. It made him feel that swell of possessive pride he had often felt about Jude over the last 3 years, when he had watched her do what was right, instead of what was easy. Pride, followed by overwhelming loss and undeniable fear.

The fear was the worst part. Fear that the best thing that ever happened to him, the girl that got him the most and the one person who had always believed in him, was about to climb onto a plane, cross an ocean and never look back.

Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to go after her. Telling him to follow her and make her believe that she was wrong. Telling him that he could convince her to marry him. And he could do it too. Jude loved him, he didn't doubt that. She had loved him since she was fifteen years old and that was the problem. He could convince her to come back if he tried, but it would be wrong and selfish and mean and in the end it would shatter their relationship beyond repair. He loved her too much to hurt her that way and he needed her too much to risk it.

Tommy had lived a whole life before he met Jude. He may have been only twenty-two, but he had had fame and fortune, he had worked for and then lost a career, he had been married and divorced and he had loved and lost. Not to mention plenty of partying, mischief and tabloid fodder in between. And what had Jude had before she met him? A year and a half of High School and a few weeks on a TV singing contest, nothing less; nothing more.

He would wait for her, he had done it before. Maybe it would be easier this time. He had waited more than two years the first time around and it had been beautiful torture spending time with her. Watching her fall in and out of love, first with Shay, then Jaime, then Spiederman. All the while knowing she belonged with him. Qwest had caught it early on, maybe before Tommy had even realized it himself. He had called Tommy on it at Jude's sixteenth birthday party, and just hours after convincing Qwest that he wouldn't cross that line, Tommy had crossed it. He crossed it and the minute he did, he knew there was no crossing back.

That kiss in the rain had changed his life forever. It had shaken him to his core and scared the hell out of him. In that kiss he felt his world shift on it's axis and, from that moment on, nothing had ever been the same for him. Since then he had tried to date other woman and had even managed to care a little about Sadie. But in the back of his mind and the center of his heart, there was only Jude. He had tried to push her away a few times, maybe even scare her away, mostly out of fear of how much he loved her and how easily she could shatter him. But she had remained steadfast by his side, often as a partner and co-writer, occasionally as a lover and girlfriend, but mostly as a best friend. The best friend he'd ever had and the only person he had ever truly trusted. Even when the weren't together or were involved with other people, and no matter how mad they were at each other, he knew if the chips were down, Jude would always choose him. She would always put him first.

So now it was his turn to put her needs before his own. He would wait, as long as it took, until she came back to him. He would give her all the space she needed to figure out who she was and what she really wanted. When he had left for New Brunswick he had told her he needed to do it alone and when she hadn't understood that, and had followed him anyway, it had blown their love apart. Now she was asking the same of him and he couldn't pretend that he didn't understand. More importantly, he couldn't risk destroying their love for good. He had waited years the first time, and that was before he knew what her love really felt like. Now that he knew, he could wait forever. He just prayed that he wouldn't have to.

**Please review**; I honestly have no idea if this is any good or not. I sounded good to me at the time, but then again, so did my singing and I was way off base with that!

Bizzare sidenote: I named this chapter, then decided I wanted it to be a song title (like they did on the series). So before changing it, I searched Youtube for a song called Learning To Let Go(just in case there was one) and I found the most amazing, perfect, could have been written for this chapter, beautiful, sad Jommy song by Corey Crowder called (you guessed it) Learning To Let Go! You have to check it out, I swear it's what Tommy would have written after Jude left. I cried through the whole song.


	2. Fly Away

**__**

**_Thanks for the reviews, they were greatly appreciated and it was exciting everytime I got a new one. I hope you enjoy this, Chapter 1 was Tommy's P.O.V. so here's Jude's._**

**DISCLAIMER: Of course I don't own anything related to Instant Star including the characters. If I had it would have ended very differently. (And I only wish I owned Tommy Q!)**

**FLY AWAY**

**_We both know we have no clear answer  
to where my dreams may lead  
He's watched me as I crawled and stumbled  
As a child, he was my world  
And now to let me go, I know he bleeds  
and yet he says to me_**

You can fly so high  
Keep your gaze upon the sky  
I'll be praying every step along the way  
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart  
I love you too much to make you stay  
Baby fly away

**********Fly Away by Corrinne May

**"Keep walking Jude, one foot in front of the other, don't stop, don't think…just keep walking," Over and over she repeated the mantra in her head as she walked through the terminal at Toronto Pearson International Airport. She knew, as soon as she stopped, the doubt would set in, and the fear and the overwhelming sadness. So, she just kept walking.**

She had almost changed her mind when her eyes had caught Tommy's across the crowded front yard. She hadn't expected him to be there, and it had startled her. For the briefest moment happiness had started to swell up inside her chest and the thought of running to him and throwing her arms around his neck had flashed across her mind. But she knew, as surely as she knew her name was Jude Harrison, that if she ran to him and embraced him, she would never be able to leave him behind. And that was the only other thing she knew for sure. That she had to do this without Tommy, without her crutch, even if it ripped her heart out.

She stopped to glance at the airport monitors, scanning for her flight and gate number. There it was, Air Transat international flight 1245 non-stop Toronto to London, Gate 36C. She stared at the screen, the realization hitting her that this was real, that she was really doing this. This was the plane that was going to take her away from everyone and everything she knew and loved. The plane that was taking her away from Tommy.

Once she arrived at her terminal, she settled into a black leather chair in the first class lounge and glanced at the boarding pass in her left hand, then at her watch. Twenty minutes until boarding. Twenty minutes to doubt and second guess, and to panic.

"Breathe, just breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth," she thought to herself. It was the Lamaze breathing her mother had taught her when she was a little girl, to calm and upset stomach or ragged nerves. She had often used it backstage, just before a performance, when doubt and fear threatened to overwhelm her. She smiled to herself, remembering using that same phrase in the bathroom stall during the Instant Star Finale.

That night had changed her life forever, and she would always be grateful. Instant Star and G-Major had given her her life, her career, her financial independence and the love of her life. They had given her Tommy.

She had been shocked when Georgia had told her that her new producer was Lil Tommy Q. The boy-bander heartthrob was the singer of the kind of sell-out musical fluff she and Jamie had always made fun of. But her first impression had been wrong, Tommy had talent and substance and was an amazing writer and producer. But more than all of that, he was an amazing person and the best friend she ever had. Not to discount Jaime, who was a good friend to her and certainly her oldest friend. Or Speiderman, would always back her up and call her on her crap. When it came right down to it, nobody had her back like Tom Quincy.

He had proven it to her a million times over the last couple of years, so much so that she now took it for granted. Even when they were apart, he still always made sure she was OK. After the whole Hunter disaster, when she had chosen to be with Jamie, Tommy still sold his soul to Darius to get her catalog back, even knowing that he and Jude might never be together again. And after the mess they both made of things in New Brunswick and the pain they had inflicted on each other when Tommy came back to Toronto, whenever Jude needed him, whether it was for a crazy Japanese shampoo commercial or going to some New Age spa to talk Darius into remixing her album, Tommy stepped up.

Hell, she knew that was why he had showed up at her house this morning. Even after she had ripped his heart out in front of thousands of people, he wanted to let her know that it was ok, that he was ok. But it wasn't and he wasn't and Jude knew it. She closed her eyes to hold back the tears threatening to destroy her fragile composure, angry at her self for not being brave enough to discuss her decision with Tommy the right way, the way he deserved to hear it, privately and truthfully and with a damn explanation. Oh God, she was such a coward.

The explanation was the problem. How does she tell the person she loves more than anything, that she needs to do this with out him? How does she tell the person that made her the artist she is, that she needs to go make music without him? How could she possibly begin to make Tommy understand that, in order to believe that she could stand by his side forever, she has to know that she could stand on her own first?

She needed him, but what scared her, was that she needed him too much. When they had broken things off in New Brunswick it had destroyed her, and her music. She could barely function without him and that scared the hell out of her. She had all but destroyed her music career in the wake of his leaving and had barely had a personal life. She had been consumed with memories of him and thoughts of where he was and how he was doing. And when he had returned to G-major, she hadn't faired much better. Even after they had stopped hurting each other, the fragile friendship they had formed had been a farce. All her old feelings had been right there, just below the surface, guiding her every move. When he had finally come to her in the rehearsal space, after Megan's arrest, she couldn't pretend any longer. Tommy was her rock, her one safe place in a storm. And, as always, when she really needed him, he was there.

Tears finally escaped and left trails as they rolled, one after the other, unchecked down her cheeks. Her thoughts turned to Tommy's unexpected proposal in the restaurant, just days before. She had never seen a more beautiful look on his face as she had when he said those two simple words," Marry me!" And she had known in that moment that marrying him was absolutely right. That he was the one and only love of her life and the only way she could ever be truly happy. She had fallen in love with him at sixteen, and that had never changed. But their relationship had been messy, and unstable, and full of highs and lows and that scared her. She wanted a future with Tommy more than she wanted anything, even more than she wanted to make music. Somehow he had become her life and her dream.

But if she couldn't prove to her self now, that she could survive without him, she would live the rest of her life in fear of losing him. And that kind of fear ruined people and relationships. Her biggest fear was ending up like her mom, so completely unable to stand on her own two feet, that she just latched on to the very next thing that came along and gave herself up completely to make it work. Jude hated the thought of becoming one of those clinging, insecure girls who were constantly afraid of being left behind. If she felt like she couldn't live without Tommy, she would eventually drive him away with her jealousy and insecurity. She wasn't sure how she knew that, but she did.

So, now she was here, alone in the airport, leaving behind the single best thing that had ever happened to her. And praying to God that she was doing the right thing. She had thought about asking Tommy to wait for her, but that would have defeated the purpose of leaving him behind in the first place. She had to do this without a net, anything less wouldn't be fair to her or Tommy. She need to make it completely on her own, so that when the time was right, and if she and Tommy got another chance, she would be complete and whole, and really able to give herself to him without holding anything back.

She had to believe that Tommy really loved her and that he would choose not to move on because he couldn't imagine being with anyone else, not because she asked him to or because he had promised to wait. She clung to the belief that she and Tommy would be together again some day and that what they had would last a lifetime, because right now, thinking anything else would be unbearable.

****

As she heard the announcement to begin boarding her flight to London, she wiped away the last of her tears and said a silent prayer that she wasn't about to make the biggest mistake of her life. Then she got on the plane and left everything she knew behind.

****************Please take a second to review, even a quick 'This sucks" or "Good Job" would be appreciated. I have a story in mind so you may see more chapters popping up.


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